"Fortress in Marriage"

Dear Readers,

As I've been continuing reading the book, Destroying Satan's Lies with God's Truth, I've been on the chapter of Principality of Rejection, I came to a part that talks about when your feeling rejected, and your spouse says, “I love you,”rejection says, “No, stay away from me. I refuse to be comforted, I will not allow you to love me.”

As I was reading that, I thought, is that what I'm doing? With all the stuff that has gone on in this marriage, am I allowing my husband to love me? Here, I have been telling him, that he has a fortress around his heart, and that he has anger, bitterness.... But if I'm not receiving what he can show or tell me, then I have a fortress around my heart, and I'm holding on to anger and bitterness. Lately I've been at the point of not wanting to kiss, touch or even have sex.

I realized that If I believed in Jesus, he was supposed to be my fortress, not my issues. I really want to be set free, and be able to receive my husbands love, so at the end of the chapter he said to write a list of ways that we have been rejected, and us rejecting other people. I wrote out the list of the main things that my husband has done or said that I took as rejection, also others. I then wrote the ways I have rejected people and my husband, like not kissing him, wanting him to touch me, all of these things. I then imagined pushing down the four big walls, (the fortress) around my heart. Trusting God, trying to stay soft and vulnerable. I then went through the prayer, and lastly, listened to the Lord, regarding the list.

Would you believe that after an hour of doing this, my walls did come down, and my heart had softened for my husband. I was actually able to go into the bedroom and make love to him.

So my Dear Readers, If you have a fortress around your heart, then I encourage you to push it down, and allow Jesus to be your fortress. Keep your heart soft, pliable, and vulnerable, so you can love and be loved.

Jealousy and Envy ( comparing and competing)

Today, when reading the book, “Destroying Satan's Lies with Gods Truth” by Mathias, He was talking about jealousy and envy, ( comparing and competing.) He was saying that this has to go for they prevent wholesome relationships with others and God,

After I prayed that God would take a light and go through my heart, and let me know what is there, so I can repent and be healed. (God loves to answer that prayer!   Being transparent now,)  He revealed to me that I compared my husband to every one, movies, other men, pastors. From kissing to thinking that other husbands would be more understanding, less angry, less sarcastic, better listener. I was even jealous of my cats, of the way he talked about widows, and orphans. I wished he would talk to me the way he talked about them. I was not content. And lately I was real bad

 I was sinning against God. My husband is the way he is. He may not be able to love me differently right now. It does no good to be jealous or compare him to others. I need to see him the way God see's him, and love him unconditionally. I have to give my hurts to God, let God heal my heart. Let God love me, the way I need to be loved.

God loves my husband unconditionally. God knows his heart, what he is dealing with, and all that he has been through.   So,  I repented of jealousy, comparing, pride, bitterness, and everything else that I could think of. I aloud God to touch me.

Ladies, after God dealt with me, God opened my eyes to how devastating all this really is. I can totally see how all this comparing and jealousy, can prevent a good relationship with our mates, with others and with God. I encourage you to take a good, hard, honest, look at your heart, your actions and see if there is any comparing, jealousy, bitterness, or pride in your heart.       Repent.    Give it to God, ask God to heal your heart. 

 know that in 1^st peter,5: 6,7 it says, therefore humble yourself under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your (hurts) and cares upon Him for He cares for you. Also, in 1st.John 1:9 Paul says, If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. May this make a difference on our marriages.

Remember, Jesus, has come to heal, deliver, and to forgive us!!

-----------------------------------AMEN----------------------------------------------------------