"Marriage, crucifying the flesh"

God is dealing with me strongly, regarding my marriage.  Since all ministry starts with the home and goes outward.  I can't love the unlovable, if I'm having trouble in my own house.  I have a friend that God has dealt with in her marriage.  She is very hard on me. The things that she tell's me is straight forward and  very hard to hear.  But I want to change, and I know that deep down she is right.   So, I want to encourage you ladies to hear whats hard to hear.  My goal in sharing all this is that you may grow and become the women and wives that God wants you to be.   May God give you the grace to hear and the strength to change.

In Colossians 3:5-10,&12-15,&17

It says, put to death your members which are on the earth, fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness which is idolatry.   Because of these things the wrath of God us coming upon the sons of disobedience in which you yourselves once walked when you lived in them.    But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth.  Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created Him.

12-Therefore, as the elect of God, Holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, long suffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.  But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.  And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful,

17- And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the father through Him.

We have to crucify our old nature and be alive to God.   My friend wanted me to read about Jesus and the crucifixion and see what He went through.  For to crucify the flesh is going to hurt, real bad!  Having to die!   Well, I was to see this very soon, my husband yelled at me sharply.  I did not want to have any thing to do with him at that moment.  I wanted to be as far from him as possible.  I went into the bathroom and cried, prayed, and had a tantrum.  My husband asked if I was going to the bathroom, or hiding.   Ooh, I was so mad.  I finally got my self together and slowly came out and said, "Crickett, stand up."  He did, I gave him a hug and said, “I know that you are frustrated and don't feel well, I'm sorry.”   Then I went into my bedroom.   I did not want to be around him.  I felt good that I was able to give him a hug, but I diffidently was not at a forgiving level.

I learned how you respond to someones sin, can be sin.   My husband yelled at me sharply, which was a sin. My response was anger, unforgiveness, resentment, and not wanting to be near him.   So, to his one sin, I committed four!  It took almost all night, before I would even lay near him.   I did not want to put the old nature to death.  It is so hard!   I just have to focus on the fact that Jesus forgave me and he loves me unconditionally and he wants me to forgive and love my husband unconditionally.  I kept praying that God would touch my husband, but the hard part is knowing that God wants to use me, to touch my husband.   It is so hard to give up hurt and unforgivness, and walk in unconditional love.

My friend also said that the only person that can change is YOU!  YOU have to look at your self as the problem and change you.   Ladies we are going to be held accountable for all of our actions and I don't think God is going to accept excuses.  You can no longer concentrate on what God can change in your mate, you have to concentrate on what God can change in you.   If you do that and nothing is different in your situation, just having a changed out look, can change your marriage.  My friend also reminded me that just maybe what takes the man to change is when he sees the miracle in you!

My friend shared that she never imagined her marriage to be where it is today.  God has truly done a miracle! Knowing her and praying together are giving me hope, strength and the will to do what is right.   Marriage is hard work!   You have to die to yourself and think of others more highly then you.  This process seems like it's going to take forever before you see something good come out of it.   But, what gives me hope is that my friend is seeing the fruit of her labor.   If God can do it for her, he is big enough to do that for me, and for you!   So ladies, the truth is, there is hope.

Together we are on the journey of life.  Together, we will learn, grow, and change.

May God Bless you all!  

Husband and agreement!

                                                       

Please hear me out, this blog may start to ruffle some feathers.  Please keep reading the next couple of blogs, and allow me to tell you what all has happened.

I was reading in the bible about the power of agreement, I made a sarcastic remark to God.    I have been married for eight years.   I have not been in agreement with my husband with any thing big or small.   I could count the number of times that we were in agreement, on one hand.

That day, I went to my friends house and we started to talk.  Some how agreeing with husbands came up and I started to tell her what I was going through.  She comes back at me saying, “that sounds selfish you are not trusting God.”  I took a deep breath and we talked and prayed.   When we prayed, it was powerful!   God dealt with me.  I had to deal with anger, unforgiveness, resentfulness, pride, fear, and rebellion.   By the time we were through I was exhausted.   But I felt a whole lot lighter on the inside.

A couple of days went by, and as I was e-mailing a friend, she mentioned that husband's are not just to be the head of the family, but to be the spiritual head also.   Which I knew, but now God was dealing with me on a personal level.    Conviction set in.   I needed to get help working through this.    I called a man of God and we talked and prayed.

God had put a lot of things in me, and I know that God had a big plan for my life.   I desired to marry a missionary and have a partner to pray with, and touch peoples lives with. I waited 43 years to get married because of those desires.   I honestly felt that he was there to help me, and not the other way around.   So, I had to put things in order.  I had to change my heart and trust God.   If I do what I'm supposed to do, be his help mate, then God would be big enough to work out everything he put in me.

I wondered about making goals and plans with Crickett. (could that even be possible!) At that moment he was feeling to depressed for me to even want to approach him.   But my desire that someday we could do that.   Now, this was all a VERY BIG step for me.

A few days later I was back at my friends house and she told me that when God was dealing with her, she would pray, let his desires be my desires and his thoughts my thoughts.   Wow, could I actually do that? After a few hard minutes, we prayed. I was able to repeat line by line everything she had written on a piece of paper. (and it got very personal.)

So, during these couple of weeks,

I learned, to be in agreement with my husband.

I learned, to be his helper.

And finally, I learned to pray and ask God that his desires and thoughts, be my desires and thoughts.

Wow, what a concept!

Diffidently, not what the world teaches.  Please read on to see what happened.

I had a chance to put into practice, agreeing with my husband on something big.   My husband came to me and asked if we had to be stuck in the desert, would I be interested in trying to get this house, if things worked out.  I told him that I did not think we were going to be here for ever.   I then shared with Crickett all that I had learned these past couple of weeks, and I asked him if he really wanted to get this house.   He said no, that he did not want to be in California. (which I knew) and then he said, Colorado.  So with my heart, I said, “I agree.”

My heart had changed and with sincerity I was able to say, I agree.   I was feeling confident at this point, that God could accomplish what ever he put in me, if I became Crickett's help-mate.   For the bottom line is,  God put desires in me, and I 'm believing He can get them out of me.    We looked at some nice places on global earth, that would meet our needs.  Seeing that I was receptive he then started to talk about farming, houses, and games on the computer.

 My heart was being filled with compassion for him. I was feeling closer then I had been in a long time.  This whole marriage has been nothing but division.  It is amazing how not being divided can touch your heart, and bring you peace.    I had no idea that this was so powerful.   I'm hoping things will start to turn around.       

My Son Royce, And His Birthday Miracle

He's now all grown up!

When my son Royce, was going to turn ten, I was thinking about what kind of birthday party to give him. During this time he was really interested in any thing Egyptian. So I thought if God has Egypt for my son, like he has Africa for me, then I would honor that and give him an Egyptian Birthday Party.  I found Egyptian invitations, which my son passed to ten of his friends to come and then spend the night.   I came up with some games and planned to serve hot dogs.

This thought came into my head, why don't you make something Egyptian to eat.  I thought about it, but not knowing anything about Egyptian food, ( I did not have a computer at that time) the thought came in, then went out.   

I was a struggling single mom who was getting a box of food from my sons christian school.   The party was going to be on Friday and the box of food came on Thursday.   Do you know what was in that box?  You guessed it, Egyptian food!   We got a box of Egyptian rice, it mentioned the Nile river and how they made rice.  I couldn't believe it!   That was no accident!   The day before an Egyptian Birthday Party there is a box of Egyptian rice.   When we saw that, a couple things touched my heart, one, it was like God gave Royce a special birthday present, and second, that God was honoring me for giving Royce an Egyptian birthday party. and saying that he was involved in it.

The party went great, we had games, fun, and Egyptian rice.  A day we will never forget!