The Grave Hole/ Rosh Hashanah and Repentance

My Dear Friends

I was reminded of a time when God was doing a lot of healing. I had this impression of being in a grave hole with this small shovel. I was not allowed to come out until I had it all smooth and clean. The dirt was packed hard and clean every where except this one corner where a small stream of sand would pour down every time I shoveled that area. At that rate, I was never going to get out of the hole.

God was really dealing with me and my striving to be perfect. I did not believe I could be loved or accepted until I was perfect.

This is the week of Rosh Hashanah, which is  the biblical “Feast of Trumpets” it's considered to be both joyous and somber: joyous because it's a celebration of the new year and somber because custom has it as a “Day of Judgment” in that it is a day of looking back and taking stock of one's life over the past year. It is a time of forgiveness, both personally and spiritually. Personally we should seek to forgive those who have hurt us, and seek forgiveness from those we have harmed. Also, it is a time to remember God has forgiven us!

As I think about that grave hole now, how far I have come! I am no longer in that hole.  I am on top of the ground, never to go down again. I no longer have to strive to be perfect, the Bible says that God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

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During this time of repentance, purging from you, Lord, no matter what comes up, YOU LOVE ME!

You know all about me. You know what is in my heart and attitude. You know all the dirt and stains that I have. When you adapted me, you took me as I was.

 I can imagine You, God, buying a rusty, filthy pot that has been used and abused and the inside all filled with stains. I know that you look at that pot with a vision and a plan. You know exactly what  to do, to bring that pot to where you can put your most precious ointment in it. That's how you see me.  It's because of your love for me that you clean, scrub and bring to the surface everything that  is not right.

Lord, I want to be your shinny vessel that you have envisioned me to be. I want to be pure and Holy.  I want to be able to hold your precious ointment. With fear and trembling, I give you permission to go through this house of mine, the attic, the main house, the basement, the cellar, under the beds, in the closets, in the corners, with a large flash light. I give you permission to expose to the light, the dirt, stains, bad attitudes, selfishness, anger, hatred, unforgiveness, that is in me. I come to you in humility, as a sinner. 

 I thank-you that you will not show me everything that there is wrong with me all at once. You will only give me what I can handle and I thank-you for the verse in 1^st John 1:9,  If I confess my sins, you are faithful and just to forgive me of my sins and to cleanse me from all unrighteousness. Thank-you!

May we all be able to pray this prayer!  God so wants to clean us up, so we can  become the men and women of God that he has envisioned us to be.

Remember, It's not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit say's the Lord.

May you have a Blessed Day and Rosh Hashanah.

Husband and agreement!

                                                       

Please hear me out, this blog may start to ruffle some feathers.  Please keep reading the next couple of blogs, and allow me to tell you what all has happened.

I was reading in the bible about the power of agreement, I made a sarcastic remark to God.    I have been married for eight years.   I have not been in agreement with my husband with any thing big or small.   I could count the number of times that we were in agreement, on one hand.

That day, I went to my friends house and we started to talk.  Some how agreeing with husbands came up and I started to tell her what I was going through.  She comes back at me saying, “that sounds selfish you are not trusting God.”  I took a deep breath and we talked and prayed.   When we prayed, it was powerful!   God dealt with me.  I had to deal with anger, unforgiveness, resentfulness, pride, fear, and rebellion.   By the time we were through I was exhausted.   But I felt a whole lot lighter on the inside.

A couple of days went by, and as I was e-mailing a friend, she mentioned that husband's are not just to be the head of the family, but to be the spiritual head also.   Which I knew, but now God was dealing with me on a personal level.    Conviction set in.   I needed to get help working through this.    I called a man of God and we talked and prayed.

God had put a lot of things in me, and I know that God had a big plan for my life.   I desired to marry a missionary and have a partner to pray with, and touch peoples lives with. I waited 43 years to get married because of those desires.   I honestly felt that he was there to help me, and not the other way around.   So, I had to put things in order.  I had to change my heart and trust God.   If I do what I'm supposed to do, be his help mate, then God would be big enough to work out everything he put in me.

I wondered about making goals and plans with Crickett. (could that even be possible!) At that moment he was feeling to depressed for me to even want to approach him.   But my desire that someday we could do that.   Now, this was all a VERY BIG step for me.

A few days later I was back at my friends house and she told me that when God was dealing with her, she would pray, let his desires be my desires and his thoughts my thoughts.   Wow, could I actually do that? After a few hard minutes, we prayed. I was able to repeat line by line everything she had written on a piece of paper. (and it got very personal.)

So, during these couple of weeks,

I learned, to be in agreement with my husband.

I learned, to be his helper.

And finally, I learned to pray and ask God that his desires and thoughts, be my desires and thoughts.

Wow, what a concept!

Diffidently, not what the world teaches.  Please read on to see what happened.

I had a chance to put into practice, agreeing with my husband on something big.   My husband came to me and asked if we had to be stuck in the desert, would I be interested in trying to get this house, if things worked out.  I told him that I did not think we were going to be here for ever.   I then shared with Crickett all that I had learned these past couple of weeks, and I asked him if he really wanted to get this house.   He said no, that he did not want to be in California. (which I knew) and then he said, Colorado.  So with my heart, I said, “I agree.”

My heart had changed and with sincerity I was able to say, I agree.   I was feeling confident at this point, that God could accomplish what ever he put in me, if I became Crickett's help-mate.   For the bottom line is,  God put desires in me, and I 'm believing He can get them out of me.    We looked at some nice places on global earth, that would meet our needs.  Seeing that I was receptive he then started to talk about farming, houses, and games on the computer.

 My heart was being filled with compassion for him. I was feeling closer then I had been in a long time.  This whole marriage has been nothing but division.  It is amazing how not being divided can touch your heart, and bring you peace.    I had no idea that this was so powerful.   I'm hoping things will start to turn around.