The Grave Hole/ Rosh Hashanah and Repentance

My Dear Friends

I was reminded of a time when God was doing a lot of healing. I had this impression of being in a grave hole with this small shovel. I was not allowed to come out until I had it all smooth and clean. The dirt was packed hard and clean every where except this one corner where a small stream of sand would pour down every time I shoveled that area. At that rate, I was never going to get out of the hole.

God was really dealing with me and my striving to be perfect. I did not believe I could be loved or accepted until I was perfect.

This is the week of Rosh Hashanah, which is  the biblical “Feast of Trumpets” it's considered to be both joyous and somber: joyous because it's a celebration of the new year and somber because custom has it as a “Day of Judgment” in that it is a day of looking back and taking stock of one's life over the past year. It is a time of forgiveness, both personally and spiritually. Personally we should seek to forgive those who have hurt us, and seek forgiveness from those we have harmed. Also, it is a time to remember God has forgiven us!

As I think about that grave hole now, how far I have come! I am no longer in that hole.  I am on top of the ground, never to go down again. I no longer have to strive to be perfect, the Bible says that God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

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During this time of repentance, purging from you, Lord, no matter what comes up, YOU LOVE ME!

You know all about me. You know what is in my heart and attitude. You know all the dirt and stains that I have. When you adapted me, you took me as I was.

 I can imagine You, God, buying a rusty, filthy pot that has been used and abused and the inside all filled with stains. I know that you look at that pot with a vision and a plan. You know exactly what  to do, to bring that pot to where you can put your most precious ointment in it. That's how you see me.  It's because of your love for me that you clean, scrub and bring to the surface everything that  is not right.

Lord, I want to be your shinny vessel that you have envisioned me to be. I want to be pure and Holy.  I want to be able to hold your precious ointment. With fear and trembling, I give you permission to go through this house of mine, the attic, the main house, the basement, the cellar, under the beds, in the closets, in the corners, with a large flash light. I give you permission to expose to the light, the dirt, stains, bad attitudes, selfishness, anger, hatred, unforgiveness, that is in me. I come to you in humility, as a sinner. 

 I thank-you that you will not show me everything that there is wrong with me all at once. You will only give me what I can handle and I thank-you for the verse in 1^st John 1:9,  If I confess my sins, you are faithful and just to forgive me of my sins and to cleanse me from all unrighteousness. Thank-you!

May we all be able to pray this prayer!  God so wants to clean us up, so we can  become the men and women of God that he has envisioned us to be.

Remember, It's not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit say's the Lord.

May you have a Blessed Day and Rosh Hashanah.

"Touched By God"

My Dear Friends,

Yesterday, I was on the bus going to a cleaning job.   I was reading 2^nd peter 1...in the living translation.  When I got to the part where Peter repeats what God says, during Jesus transformation, "This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy.”   I almost cried, I was hoping in my heart, that I would bring Joy to God also.

This morning I spent some time praying.  Giving the day to the Lord.   My husband got up and so I spent time with him before he left for work.   I was hoping that my friend would call, and spend time with her.

Mean-while I was getting ready to work on creating some earrings, when I felt the Holy Spirit nudge me to read a couple verses in the bible.  So, I  read in 1^st Corinthians 6:13, ...Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord and the Lord for the body.   That really touched me.   My body is for the Lord.  I am his temple.   How could I want this temple to have unforgiveness, anger, ect...  How could I walk in the flesh, if I am the temple of the living God.  That really helped me.  I've been dealing with crucifying the old man.   Romans chapter 6 and 8 have been very helpful.  In Romans 8:13, it says, by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body.   It is not the flesh that does this, but the Spirit.

  Here's another part of The Lord for the body, that touched me.   here I am, desiring my friend to call, when right here I have  my Father, who sacrificed his Son, so that I could have a relationship with Him.   How privileged I am, I really felt that God wanted to spend time with me!   I went to the couch and asked God, my Father, to join me.  I brought my Bible and started to talk to Him.  My month old dark calico kitten, joined us.    I mentioned  how neat these baby kittens are, and I sensed that he wanted me to choose this kitten to keep instead of the other calico.   I asked,  "are you sure, this one wines when you pick it up."  I did not want a kitten that wined if I picked it up.   I wanted one of the other two.   Not this one.  I sensed he was telling me, that's why I want you to have this one, because it's more timid.   I also want you to have it, because my heart is for the one that is rejected and not wanted.  Another lesson in His love.

As I was taking all this in, the other two kittens joined us on the couch.  I was watching them play, appreciating God's creation.  I felt that He was saying that he created them, and gave them the ability to jump, play and be loving.   And that just like he created them, he created me, my talents, my compassion.  He was letting me know that he loved me, and that just as I took pleasure in watching the cats, He takes pleasure, (joy,) in watching me.  He was answering my question, do I bring him joy.

So, instead of being with my friend, I was able to be with the God of the universe, my daddy.   He loves me and takes joy in watching me.   I want to leave you with this verse, Psalms139:13-14,  "God, you formed my

inward parts;  You covered me in my mother's womb.   I will praise You,  for I am fearfully and wonderfully made."     That's both you and I.   He formed us, loves us, has a plan for us, and is filled with joy in watching us.   May you be encouraged today!!

Pregnant and.........(For-Giving Self)..

I'm going to be very transparent and take a great risk. Oh, for the mercy of God. When I was growing up, I was looking for love in all the wrong places. I was dying for love. Now when I had sex, that's when I felt the most love. So, I got very promiscuous. At around 25, I gave my-self to the Lord, Body, mind and soul. For over a year I had sustained from any sexual relations. I had just gotten filled with the Holy Spirit and going to a Vineyard church.

I ended up going to Nebraska with this guy, (another story) I gave up my job, my church and my apt. Telling him that I was not going to have sex till marriage. I gave up my job, my church and my apt. Well, one thing led to another and we had sex. The moment we were through I knew that I was pregnant.

Deep down in side, I wanted to marry a missionary and knew that I was not in a good relationship. I wanted to die. I felt hopeless, and that my life was ruined. I gave up place, church, job, everything, I didn't know what to so. I called a pastor form the yellow pages and he assured me that my life was not over and that I could go back to California and make things right.

I talked with my parents. My Dad was going hunting in Colorado and that he would me meet and we would drive back to Ca.. together in my car. It so turned out that my pastor from the vineyard was doing a conference in Colorado. So I made arrangements to go to the conference then meet my Dad.

After my pastor preached they played the song, “Jesus Loves Me” I just started to cry and cry. I really did not know why I was crying. Then they played “Holy, Holy, Holy.” I realized I was crying because of the pregnancy. I went to my pastor and told him that over a year ago I committed my-self to the Lord and that I gave in and got pregnant. Could he pray for me and the baby. He did.

While I was walking back to my seat, the Holy Spirit said, “You have to forgive yourself” At that time, I had no confidence in me, so I started to look for someone to pray with me, to help me forgive my-self.

I desperately looked for someone, but every one was busy worshiping and did not seem to be at a place where I could interrupt them. I really looked! So, now I would have to do this all by myself. (Oh, how good God is, how when you take a step in His direction, he runs to meet you.) I took a deep breath and said, “Brenda, I forgive you for having sex, and I forgive you for getting pregnant.”

As soon as I said that, God delivered me! I felt pure and Holy! I felt like I had a born again virginity.

Even though I was carrying a baby, I knew that God saw me pure and Holy! I was jumping for joy.

God revealed how necessary and powerful forgiving self really is. God showed me His love,His mercy, and His compassion. This experience was a pivotal point in my life. From that time on, God has been healing and restoring my life.           

                                     I pray that this openness can touch someone's HEART today.