Last night and this morning I have been having a hard time dealing with my husband. God has been dealing with me in crucifying the flesh. In my morning prayer this morning I was going over the fruits of the flesh and the fruit of the spirit, again. ( Found in Galatians 5:19-25) I realized that in my flesh I wanted to strangle My husband. I knew that God loved him and wanted to use me to show Crickett His love. Again, If I couldn't love my husband how could I love the world, it starts with the home.
Anyway, I also knew that before I could love my husband, I had to receive an abundance so God's love could over flow to Crickett. I spent some time thinking and receiving God's love. While I was still a sinner, God loved me. I went through the list, receiving God's love,joy, kindness, gentleness, long-suffering.....I was doing good as long as my husband was sleeping.
When Crickett got up, I asked him if he would like some waffles. He said, " sure." I noticed that I only had enough eggs to make cookies, but not waffles. I called my neighbor, an older single guy, and asked if I could borrow a couple of eggs. The first thing he said when he knew it was me, was," Hi there beautiful." Boy did that make my day. I happily told Crickett what he said, as I was going out the door. to go get them. When my neighbor got to the door, he had four eggs, he asked, "what's for breakfast."
I said, "waffles" then I asked him if he wanted to join us. He said, yes.
I made breakfast as he talked with Crickett. After he ate and left, I was thinking, boy, I think I'll call him up everyday, just so I can hear those words. ( I sure don't hear them from my husband.) Then the Holy Spirit reminded me that, that was the flesh! Another realization of how strong the flesh is. How I like those complements! I then spent some time repenting. I had a hard time calming my flesh down. I prayed that God would help me to love the things that He loves and to hate what he hates.
Before dinner my husband and I went for a walk. It was starting to get dark and when I heard a dog barking I got scared,and grabbed for his belt loop. I was still a little raw, regarding dogs. Crickett gave me a little lecture,and when I commented, he came back with you can be a big B---- why don't you use that energy to go towards the dogs. That hurt! I wanted to respond. In the past, I would bring him up, especially if he does the same thing. I remembered that I was working on the fruits of the spirit. So, for the first time, I kept my mouth shut.
Oh it is so hard to crucify the flesh!
What you're struggling with is something most of us struggle with if we are honest. It is just perhaps that we have different people that stir up our flesh. I'm so glad you are brave enough and mature enough to try to crucify the flesh.
ReplyDeleteWhen we don't get compliments from our loved ones, we do crave it from someone else. I'm glad the Holy Spirit spoke to you and you listened. It isn't really that the compliments are so bad....it is where those feelings might lead. Hugs. xx